Maybe making someone move when he has been in the “I’m not sure I can commit” zone too long is not such a bad thing. Here’s the catch though, I don’t think most of us prepare for the answers we don’t want to hear. We think putting a foot down will make him move faster, meet our demands, and somehow the real “love” magic will begin. Yeah right. The one thing ultimatums really do is force us to do what we should have done a long time ago; be true to what we really say we want.
If you do give your guy and ultimatum, be prepared for the answer you do not want. Set your expectations and manage them. Suppose you want a, “Yes, we can get married,” and, after setting your “You have 30 days to make a decision,” law, he says, “I need more time.” Or worse yet, what if he says, “Goodbye.” Prepare yourself for the possibility of being free then move on. Don’t grant an extension. Your life is calling. And be gracious about it, don’t do the drama dance on the way out. Leave in love. If you make him choose, and you get what you want – yahoo. Time to buy the wedding dress!
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Tonya Kerry, Esq. is an inspirational speaker and “America’s Love Coach”. In a humorous and heartfelt manner, Tonya teaches others how to create success in romance. Tonya has committed her life to sharing with others to assist them in unlocking their creativity and enriching their relationships. She is the author of “Twelve Secrets to Living a Life You Love”, and expects to publish “Love Power: How to Attract an Amazing Man” in early 2010. She is also a former radio show host and a current member of the National Speakers Association and Toastmasters International. Tonya happily calls her husband her six foot two sack of sugar. Visit Tonya at www.tonyakerryspeaks.com
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