I feel like I wouldn’t break his windows or key his car. No Angela Bassett-Waiting to Exhale-pyromania-fits. I probably wouldn’t even call the other woman. My first reaction to being cheated on would be to calmly ask for the truth, maybe get a slap or two in, and then take time (a lot of time) to evaluate if I still wanted to be in the relationship.
I’ve had this discussion many times with my girls. The big WHAT IF? Eyebrows raised and anger building as we try to string together clues of what’s really going on and how he will suffer if suspicions are confirmed.
The recent findings of golfer Tiger Woods infidelity has a lot of people shocked. It is hard for many to believe that the all-American golf champion, with his pristine image, is a backdoor run-of-the mill cheater. But according to the findings of marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman, we shouldn’t have been so stunned. He found from his 20 years of experience that one in 2.7 men will cheat– and most of their wives will never know about it.
Cheating, as old as the sun, always seems to feel like a fresh wound. When either party strays a series a questions arise.
One of the questions is, why? Why would they cheat? What was missing from our relationship? The reasons behind infidelity are too vast and complicated for this piece. But I can explain in one word why the answer matters: T-R-U-S-T
Trust may be the most important aspect of any relationship. It confirms where a person’s emotional, mental and physical states are in regards to the relationship. It simply says that no matter what the circumstances are my best interest is in his heart and that he is equally invested in this as much I am.
Trust is the unspoken contract. The signature on the dotted line. The handshake. And when a contract is broken, all bets are off.
We all make mistakes, its apart of our human nature. No one is perfect, who’d want to be? But at the end of the day no one wants to be cheated on, it ‘s just not right.
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Danielle Kwateng is a faithful journalist who has written for Upscale Magazine, The Root and Black America Web. She lives in NYC and her blog, “The Lush Life”, explores the trails, tribulations and utter craziness of being a young black socialite with a moral conscious.
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December 4th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I’m a woman and before my current boyfriend I cheated on many boyfriends. I don’t know exactly why but I think it has something to do with, I was young, I knew I wasn’t going to marry them…it wasn’t serious. Now, if you’re married and still cheating you may need to dig a little deeper. Society makes it so easy for men to cheat though. Our leaders (senators, governors, celebrities *are they leaders?*) cheat so frequently and are still loved and revered it makes you wonder if people are still faithful these days?