I always thought I never wanted a big wedding. If the wedding day is the first day of the rest of our lives together, my biggest fear was that it would turn into a disaster that would snowball into me driving my husband so batty that he would question why he ever proposed in the first place. Between coordinating the perfect event, trying to look radiant as I attempt to walk down the aisle without tripping and not trying to pay attention to all the criticism that comes from guests that always feel you should’ve been more beautiful, thinner, that the food should’ve been better, I felt that I would have a nervous breakdown. Not to mention, having my lovely family there to make me realize why I always have a business obligation miraculously on the same day of our family reunions. Can you imagine the happiest day of my life taking a downward spiral into the abyss when both sides of my ghetto-ass family would throw down and rip each other apart while I am the tear-streaked mediator? They would probably have a food fight with my wedding cake and guess who would be wearing most of it? This is why I decided to just have a nice, quiet civil ceremony. But, I always felt like I had missed out on something.
Fast-forward a few years to the present. My best friend has just gotten engaged and she has bestowed on me the greatest honor—to be her matron of honor. I literally cried when she asked me. Not simply because I was so thrilled she chose me to stand by her side, but because I get to enjoy all the benefits of vicariously living through her as a bride without any of the headaches and misery of actually being one. My girl Denise has it together in every way—she’s incredibly intelligent, beautiful both inside and out, has an amazing career and a wonderful man who worships the ground she walks on. But, the pain of planning and executing a wedding will frazzle the most untouchable mortal.
On the surface, Denise seems easygoing. But underneath it all, she is a delicate mixture of type A personality with an underlying control freak complex. Remind you of anyone? My goal as her matron of honor and best friend is to keep her focused on the fact that this day is about her and her fiancé. I want her to have fun, to laugh and have a wonderful time on one of the best days of her life. I want her to have a collage of beautiful memories to color the rest of her life. I don’t want her to look back one day and wish she had done it differently. Not just because she is my best friend and I love her to death, but also because that’s what I would’ve wanted and needed when I was going through the same process. Maybe, if I would’ve had someone to help me focus on what’s really important, instead of trying to figure out how to make everyone else happy at the risk of my husband’s and my happiness, I would’ve done things differently. But, I made my choices and there is no turning back. My hope is that I can be Denise’s voice of reason and refuge during this stressful time and that she will learn from my experiences. This day will officially set the tone for the rest of their lives together. Hers and her fiancé’s happiness is what really counts.
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Caridad Pellot is a corporate executive who just looks like she has it all together. In her blog, “Diary Of A Control Freak”, she lets us in on the lessons she’s learning along the way.
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