Have you spent hours trying on different outfits preparing to meet her? Have you listened intently, feverishly trying to project your sincere interest and appreciation for her unsolicited advice; as you think to yourself, “this is my wedding and I’m planning it how I want to?” When the phone rings and you see her name come up on the caller ID, do you cringe hoping your husband will pick up the phone? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you have encountered The Other Woman. The Other Woman is your husband’s mother.

In Jane Green’s book The Other Woman, the main character Ellie meets a man with whom she seemingly has a lot in common. They’re both career-minded, independent, and have their own homes. While her family is small, his is a bit larger and tightly knit. As their relationship progresses, he takes Ellie to meet his family. In an instant, Ellie finds Linda, (her boyfriend’s mother) to be confident, self-assured, and loving. She later learns that this is a front and Linda is an insecure, overbearing control freak. What’s worse is she sees her independent, big and strong boyfriend for the mama’s boy that he really is.

Whether you have encountered a mother-in-law who acted one way and then changed it up, or if she was and will always be one of your biggest haters, don’t fret. There is an art to dealing with The Other Woman. First, you should consider a few factors:

• How close do you and your husband live to his mother?
• How often do you visit her and vice versa?
• Is she married or seeing someone?
• Are there grandchildren to consider?
• Finally, what does your husband think? Is he a stand-up, think for himself type of guy or does he require his mother’s constant approval?

Whatever his approach, you must learn and master the skill of MLM, (Mother-in-Law Management). Kill her with kindness, indulge her with mindless attention because your primary goal is to maintain a happy husband. You want to emanate harmony and sweetness. Any conflict should not arise from you. That said, don’t be a doormat. Remain tactful, but firm and you will win.

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Married four blissful years, Today’s Wife Michelle Banks kissed a few frogs before finding her prince charming. In this lively blog, she’ll expound on the joys and challenges of marriage, exploring relationships in transition, and managing successful relationships from both the BM (before-marriage) & AM (after-marriage) perspective.