Technology and science are not solely limited to electronics and computer equipment. It surrounds us in every aspect of our lives. They can make life easier or more difficult, depending on how accepting you are of them. This time around I want to talk about a topic that is very near and dear to my heart – beauty, specifically, eyelashes. Read the full story

Image.  So much in our society revolves around how we look to others; our physical attractiveness, what clothes we wear, the type of cars we drive, the homes we live in, who our friends are, what we do for a living, and how much money we make.  We place an inordinate amount of value on how others see us; so much so that we often begin to lose touch with who we really are as we strive to stay ahead in the image game.  This sometimes spills over into how we arrive at conclusions about what we “should” have when it comes to relationships. What we have and what we do- our “resumes”— becomes the measurement by which we determine our worthiness.

Many women believe that having a great resume (educated, attractive, financially independent, etc.) somehow entitles us to a good relationship; that we should be first in line to get a box of prince charming-—or at least be ahead of the women who have what we consider to be less desirable qualifications.  Some of us will actually go so far as to verbalize this belief as we compare ourselves to others: “How does she have a man and I don’t?”

The flaw in the theory that we are our resumes, and that the “better” our resumes, the more worthy we are as mates, is that it causes us to miss out on a very fundamental truth about love and relationships.  It isn’t what we do or what we have, but who we are BEING that better positions us to attract the love that we are seeking.  When we get caught up in a story about who is worthy or unworthy of having a mate based upon looks, status and accomplishments, we push ourselves further and further away from the possibility of having authentic love.  We also perpetuate the very thing that we often claim to despise-superficiality.

When we begin to look inside of ourselves and focus on what really matters, we will come to a better understanding of what love is.  We will no longer ask the question, “Why her and not me?”  We will understand that with relationships, much like a job interview, the position isn’t necessarily filled by the candidate with the best resume; but by the one who is the best fit.

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Alisa and Angie are two single women who started the “Over the Story” blog for men and women to openly discuss the “stories” we have bought into about love relationships. By facilitating honest discussion about how these stories cause us to come to conclusions about how our relationships “should be”, Angie and Alisa challenge us to find the courage to debunk old myths, lies and tricks to create a relationship of our own design. They are also currently working on a book and an independent film that both examine and deconstruct commonly held myths about relationships. Visit OvertheStory to read more of their work.

When the responses poured in, I braced myself for what I knew would inevitably occur: judgment. I’m a blogger, so I know that each time I share something, especially something related to my family, I open myself to the perspectives of others; some pleasant, some well-meaning, and others, well…honest, if nothing else. I appreciate them all though, because there is always an opportunity to learn from someone else, even when the lesson is as simple as: some people are jackasses, period. End of lesson. Read the full story

I’ve always had a passion for technology. No one believes me when I share this. Who would think that a woman who has forged her career in the beauty and fashion industries would even care about the processing speed of a laptop? I do admit that my interest goes beyond the technical specs of a piece of hardware. What drives my passion is the look of the gadget. Nothing sparks the coolness factor like possessing a hot gadget that is the perfect combination of top performing mechanics and a sleek look. You don’t know how many times I walked down the street in my stilettos ready to conquer the world, only to have someone stop me to ask about my E-book reader or my cell phone. This is why I am an early adopter of technology. I can’t stand to have someone else bring me the news. Not to mention the many times I got on the good side of my managers because I set up his Wi-Fi or installed some piece of software on her computer. Read the full story

Today I woke up with an unfamiliar feeling. Stronger than desire, I felt the need to go to church. For most of my life, I was involved in the church. Not only was I in Catholic school for over 14 years, but my mother was a devoted parishioner for most of her life. Religion was everywhere and everything to me as a child. I always felt God’s eyes on me whether I was doing wrong or right. Miraculously, I never felt judged by God, just well accompanied. I don’t know when or how I lost my way. Read the full story

Valentine’s Day provides a platform to express love to the special person in our lives. It offers us the opportunity to dedicate a day to giving more of ourselves and show appreciation for the joy our partner brings into our lives; a day dedicated to stepping outside of our normal routine and celebrate the love that we are fortunate to experience. So many times in our culture, however, Valentine’s Day is not about the celebration of mutual love, but more about a show. And for many women, this show is used to determine our self-worth. Read the full story

I’ve always viewed my father’s advice as an instrument to inspire fear and blind obedience in me. As I matured, I realized that there were some kernels of truth in his ignorant rants. One thing he always said to me was “That person you think is your friend is really the mouse who eventually eats your cheese”. Funny, I heard this for most of my life but never gave it any deep thought. After all, it was just my father’s way of trying to control me. He thought that if he could get me to believe that all my friends were just out to use me that I would become afraid of letting anyone into my life. He would use my fear to manipulate and isolate me. In his warped sense of reality, he thought this was the best way to protect me and keep me on the right track. He’s not a physical man, so the only way he gets people to do what he wants is through his words. The weird thing was the trait that I hated most about him was the one I absorbed through osmosis. Read the full story

The results are in: Good guys do NOT always finish last.

I meet this guy once—nice looking, decent job. He opened doors, complimented my appearance and checked in on me periodically throughout the day. Then one day he told me about his past. He said he used to hang in the streets, heading down the wrong path. And although he still had a lot of connections, he does not participate in the gangbanging and street-hanging lifestyle anymore. Ultimately, he said it came down to the battle of self: the gangster verses the gentleman. “I choose the gentleman,” he told me. “I got myself a legit job and started taking responsibility.” Read the full story

I always told myself that I would never fall in love with a man who has been divorced, let alone one with children. It’s too much of a hassle trying to perform for everyone and you are always left feeling like the “other woman”. You have to be extra nice to the child because you really want him/her to like you even though their mother tells them that you are their competition and that they do not need to listen or respect you. And, the ex-wife? I had nightmares of receiving calls at all hours of the night, supposedly an emergency with the child, just to find out that she was trying to get my man to her apartment for a “reconciliation”. But, you cannot tell your heart who to love and you can’t always contain a bad situation. Read the full story

When we say we’re committed to someone what does that mean? For most of us, we believe that once we enter into a commitment, a promise is made that requires follow-through on an agreement between two people. Once we establish this agreement, we can plan our future based upon this certainty. We take the “sweet whisperings” of love and all of its hopeful promises and attach it to some future fantasy that has yet to happen. But, the expectation that someone else’s emotions, beliefs or behaviors will remain unchanged is unrealistic at best. Read the full story